An unbroken bond
by starnosy
Summary: "I wish I can remember the moments from our past lifes. Knowing that somehow I have lived with you in this time periode, is really strange Jasper." she says while her fingers plays with the hem of my shirt. I smile sadly against her neck. "Me too Bella, me too." I whisper into her hair, her sweet scent filling my lungs and I hold her tighter against me. BPOV JPOV


Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight  
Rating: **M** (_for sexual contents, don´t read if you are under 18_)  
Pairing: Jasper/Bella

**~An unbroken bond~**

_(the Past part I)_

_Texas, 1858_

The sun stands high on the sky above us, as we lie in the green grass. I hold my right hand over my head to watch the blue sky, before I close my eyes to listen to my surroundings. It's a warm summer day and I can hear the birds chirping nearby.

The scent of the wildflowers which are everywhere, lingers around us and I can hear his horse moving lazily around while it yanks out the grass with its teeth.  
"Isabella…" his voice is a warm light whisper, close to my ear and his warm breath tickles me. A giggle escapes my lips and I can feel his strong fingers tangles with mine until they are intertwined together. I am glad that I have pulled off my gloves before. To feel his skin on mine send shivers down my spine in ways I never felt before. With a smile, I open my eyes again and turn my head to the left side.

Watching him, is the most amazing thing I allow myself to do.

His brown eyes are staring intently into mine as we look at each other. And I can feel the same small bubble comes around us again. It feels as if there is only us, nothing else.

I know that I will never get tired to watch in this beautiful face. Never.

A light summer breeze blows over us suddenly and a strand of his golden blond curls falls deeper into his face and covers his left eye.

He is so handsome and he doesn´t even know that. The girls and women around town are all head over heels with him.

All the time when I follow my mother into town to help her buy some supplies or when she need my help during her work, I see them blush and giggle behind their hands whenever he walks by while he greets them. The women are always so busy to get his attention somehow while I stand silently in the background and watch him out of my eyes, listen only half hearted to my mother. When he would turn his head into my direction, I quickly look away and make myself busy, blushing a deep crimson.

Mother always says that he is an amazing charmer and can always get his way if he wants to and that such kind of men are dangerous for a woman.

But I know he is a good man with his heart on the right place.

~o~

Thoughts run through my mind as we lay on the ground, facing each other and I bite my lower lip as my heart wants to spring free from my chest. He has no idea what he does to me. What kind of feelings are running inside me. Just one look from him makes me melt down completely.

Absently I bring my hand, which still covers my eyes, to his face and move the curl out of his eye and back behind his ear. I love his hair. It is so wild and untamable and has such a rich golden color when he use to be in the sun all day. Through the sumer, it seems almost to bleach and glow.

For a second I let my fingers linger there before I let my hand fall back into the cool grass beneath us.

I always have wondered why he wants to spent his free time out here – with _me_. He could ask every girl in town. And I know for a fact that they're much prettier than me and more welcome to the society than me.

But I never have the guts to ask him that question. I am more than happy to be in his presence and that he has acknowledged me in the first place. After all, I am just plain and nothing special to him. I am just the daughter of one of his fathers worker. Soon he will get tired of me and spend his time with other, more important things or worse, another girl who is even prettier than me. That thought hurt more than anything else, but I need to be realistic and accept the fact that I will not have him in that way at all.

After a while I began to blush under his intense stare and avert my eyes. The butterflies in my belly grow and I quickly sit up.

He does it too, still holding my hand. He always takes it. Sometimes I wonder why he has this habit to touch me at all. But that is just him. He always search some contact with me.

Of course I can only speak to the times which we share together. Apart from our time in the fields, he never really approach me.

But in those moments when we are alone he always touches my hand in subtle ways. I never expect anything more than that. This wonderful man is too good for me and out of my reach. For me it is a friendly gesture because I cannot imagine that he would want anything more than friendship. I am sure that he sees in me just another little sister..._like Caroline_.

~o~

I have known him my whole life of course. In this town, the people all know each other to an extent. But still, he is my neighbor and lives just a few miles down from my father´s property. At least I have thought that until my mother explained his status towards us. As a child this hasn't been a concern for the three of us.  
As a child I use to come over and play with the Whitlock kids and we had much fun in this short moments.

But of course everything changes as we grow older and are taught in the etiquette to be ladies and gentlemen, so we can be introduced into the society.

Suddenly nothing between us is easy anymore.

It's awkward whenever I come over to the Whitlock property, because I am not sure how to behave with the new things I have to learn at the moment. I would stumble over my words and embarrass myself in front of them when I visit Caroline.

I have to wear different clothing from now on, which I cannot even make dirty and it makes it difficult for me to walk normal.

I try to walk as graceful as I can, like my mother expects it from me but I am only a child and far away from grace. And soon I have discovered my clumsiness as my mother has changed my footwear as well.

He and Caroline are not better. I have seen it in those times I had come over.

His civility has been the most change in his behavior. He never overstep the space from now on. While before he has always joking and laughing freely with me, is he now polite, gallant and always civil and staying at a proper distance from me. He never run around anymore or play tricks to us girls.

Instead he has changed into a young man who learned to treat a woman with his best behavior. His appearance has changed as well. He never dress himself in torn and dirty clothes from now on and wore like me a different wardrobe. Only at the fields would I get a glimpse from the boy he used to be.

The only thing that has never changed and could not be tamed, is his curly blond hair. As much as he tries, his hair stays always a mop of disheveled curls, and I was glad about it. It was the only reminder I have, that the boy I know for so long, is still in there, somewhere.

Many nights I have cried myself into sleep because as a child, I have not understood this. We have been so normal before and in the next moment nothing is the same anymore. My mother has explained this in her way, one evening as I lay in my bed and cry heavy tears again.

"Sweetheart, those things have to happen. Our society do not accept a wild and disheveled young woman who ran barefoot around town and plays with men. It is not quite the thing for a young lady. And soon you will be one Isabella. I can already see the woman you will become in those beautiful eyes of yours." mother smiles and strokes over my forehead before she continues.  
"You have to learn how to act as one. Childhood is a wonderful gift sweetheart, until you reach a certain age. You will never loose these memories but treasure them in here for the rest of your life." she holds her and against my chest where my heart beats.  
"But everyone will be tamed finally." My mothers wise voice spoke softly as she strokes my hair out of my face while my tears still ran down my cheeks.

"A proper young lady has to learn the rules of etiquette. That's the way things are sweetheart. Our society do not accept a childlike manner in a world of adults. I used to be like you when I was in my youth and my mother has told me the same thing I am telling you now. I have been like a boy and played in the dirt, was loud and far from what a girl should have been, but I had learned my place finally and so will you. Your future husband will be more than pleased. So do not shed anymore tears over something you can not change at all. Think about your father. Make him proud of you and become the woman he can be proud of."

And so it happen. After this night I have stopped crying about my lost childhood and never visited them like I use to do. _We went our separate ways._

One of the reasons I never visit them is, soon I have discovered that I see in him more than just Caroline´s brother.

~o~

When I am at their house, than always with mother, helping her with the almost finish sewed clothes which the Whitlocks had ordered.  
Mother has taken me under her wings after that night and I began to learn her handwork. For hours I help my mother while she teaches me every handstitch and how I have to cut the different materials which she explains to me as well. I have never known that there is so much to consider when I sew a dress. My mother is a master in sewing. She has learned it at a very young age from Gran who in turn has learned it from her mother and so on.

Mother's family is known for their tailoring skills and so she has become one too. She is an amazing dressmaker and her skills are in great demand. Father is very proud of that.  
The tailoring she owns is nothing special. Just a little space in the store where she has her fabrics and an old sewing machine. People would leave their requests and she works on it, mostly from home. Mother knows how to work with a simple fabric and change it into a beautiful gown which amaze me every time.

Every tuesday to thursday, mother teaches me new things like how to make pattern and how to bastle before we would leave for the town or different homes around here where the costumer's would try the clothing on so mother and I could readjust it with pins until it fit. This is my mothers favorite time she told me one day because she can meet and chatter around with the women while working on their dresses. It satisfies her to do this while enjoying the womens company. Back home mother and I mostly finish everything that need to be done. But sometimes she would do that just at their houses, when it is urgent.

~o~

* * *

~o~

I always have thought about the words my mother has told me that one night, seven years ago and of course I have learned all the rules a lady has to know. But I can never be myself when I have to act like that and especially when I have to look after every step I do because my clumsiness is now a habit I have to live with. I am ashamed of it and it humiliates me. That is one reason I randomly leave my father´s property. Another one are the men around town. I do not like how some of them look at us women. Those men are out of control, always fight or are drunk and hanging around the saloon too much. Just knowing that we have to pass the saloon every time when we come into town, let me shudder in fear and disgust.

I want nothing more than to be myself and that openly without all the etiquette. I want to run with my dress high above my knees; I want to discuss the emancipation of women; I want to laugh freely and not behind a hand; I want to be loud and not quiet and gracious. And I want to make myself wet and dirty from time to time.

This I can only do at home. _But which man would like this...the real me?_

All the men around here, are looking at those ladies in their beautiful dresses, which are so tight that they can't even breath or sit normal.

After I have joined once the high tea society from our town, I never went there again. Of course my mother has been upset by it but I have my father on my side. Mother knows that he doesn't like these meetings and thinks this is hilarious anyway to sit in a room with such clothes and sip on a cup of tea while everyone chatters like hens.

So mostly I sit behind the huge tree at the church and wait for my mother. Sometimes when I am lucky, I catch a sight of Caroline's brother and every time I make myself even smaller so he would not see me. _He has become such a handsome man_.  
These moments are worth every discussion I have when mother and I leave town afterwards.

More than often I have just acted like myself without me being aware of it while we are in town. But my mother always lectures me and shows me the wrongs of my doing and how I have to act, but it don´t stop me from doing it again, I am just not like normal young women and will never be. I am sure that I will never find a husband for me whom I can love because the one I want is so out of reach for me.

My mother goes so far, that she has bought me a book about the etiquette which I have to read of course– _every day_.  
The only confident I have, is my father.

One morning in the kitchen, my mother demands that I shall act like that at home too and that's when my father steps finally between us and put an end to it. I never have seen my father raise his voice against my mother until now. He grabs the book about the etiquette, out of her hand and waves it for emphasis before he throws it away and into the fire. My mother hasn't said one word at all, just stares at him with wide eyes.

"Nobody will act like that in our house Sarah. This book is hilarious. I do not want any of you act like those rich upper class women. It taints the beauty in you. You are both good the way you are. So stop whatever you have in your little head wife." father grumbles with a frown before he takes my still shocked mother in his arms and kisses her forehead.

"I am sorry. I scared you Sarah. I didn't mean to do that. Please, say something." he whispers into her hair and I watch how my father stroke the little tears from my mothers cheeks.

"You are right Charles. I am sorry." I hear my mother whisper after a long time. "I just thought it would be the best for Isabella to know those things." she says into his chest.

"I know sweetheart. But let her grow up naturally. Because growing up in our standard, is never wrong." he says softly and my mother nods her head at that.

~o~

The young women which are around my age here in town, are now always trying in their subtle ways to find a potential future husband. I feel just disgusted how both men and women dance around each other like that. Flirting they call it. I will never do that. Or so I think.

Often I sit around in the grass under the large tree beside our school or lean against a house beside the store with a book in my hand, reading it while waiting for my mother as she once more has gotten carried away in her chattering.

Reading is my passion and I can get lost in a book for almost a day.

Since I have discovered my love for it, I have read a lot and dream now from the love, these writers describe in so wonderful words. I always wonder if it is true. That maybe out there is waiting your other half – your soulmate. _My soulmate..._

This emotion must be the strongest at all. _Pure unconditional love_. My heart screams for _him_ to be mine, all the time.

~o~

I am brought out of my musing as I feel a warm finger under my chin.

"Do not hide from me Isabella. I have to admit that I love your blush immensely." while he says that, his fingers wanders faintly over my blushed cheek as if he isn´t sure if he should touch me at all. But it leaves a fire on its way.

I want so badly to turn my head more towards his fingers, feel more of him, but I know it is not a manner to do such a thing with a man, especially when I am alone. I sigh silently. I wish we are alone. Even here, out in the field, is always someone around. I can see a few workers scatter around as well as Mr. Whitlock at the far end on his horse, riding through a few rows of cotton before I lose sight of him.

"I think it is time to ride back. Your father will never allow me to spend time with you again if I bring you home after it gotten dark." He says as he stands up and take me with him.

I am quiet, still too shocked over what he has said earlier. I follow him quietly as we walk over to his horse. It snorts as he pats his nose and my heartbeat increase again. Can we just walk maybe, my inner self begs.

I am still a little bit afraid to ride, but principally to do it alone since the accident has happened a few months ago. It is strange because I love riding and can do it since I am a little child.

Suddenly I am taken back to that faithful day.

~o~

_"Isabella, are you sitting as I have told you?" My father ask me while he tugs on the reins and sattle one last time. I nod with a smile on my lips. _

_"Yes father." my voice sounds giddy and I could see my father smile at my attempt to sit still._

_Father has promised me to let me ride one of his horses today, since he has just a few chores to do by the Whitlocks. The whole morning I was eager to go out, to feel the wind in my face and hair; to not act like a doll and instead move with the horse under me, oh how I miss it. Of course it means that I have to wear a different dress. A much lighter one which would not unnecessarily impede during my riding. I do not need to look pretty when I ride, so my dress was a simple tailored jacket with a long skirt to match and a tailored shirt. Nothing fancy at all._

_Mother isn't pleased with both of us. In her opinion riding is not lady like if you cannot at least dress yourself up. _

_Suddenly I am brought out of my thoughts as a wild dog barks somewhere and emerges out of nowhere. The dog runs right through the front legs of the horse and the move scares the mare so much that it balkes. __In the next second, __the mare breaks away from my father's hand and I can nothing do than hold onto it for dear life as it storms away with me and jumps through the gate in its haste. Wood flies into the air and I feel a slight pang on my left leg as the horse runs through the broken gate now.  
I scream for my father to help me as the mare continues to run because I had no reins and obviously the horse which name I have forgotten in my panic, is too scared to do anything than run. Our house grows smaller and smaller and my panic rose even more. I really consider this is my last day on earth._

_I am still screaming as the horse runs into the small forest which disconnects my father´s and the Whitlock´s property. Branches slaps me hard across my cheeks and tore strands of hair from my bun and loosing it slightly. Tears are running down my cheeks and panic sobs escape my lips as my hands grab even tighter into the mane of the horse.  
I can feel the muscles from the horse between my tights and knees as I sway with the rythm of the horse's gait, can hear his wild and frantic snores as it runs further away with me._

_Finally as the horse breaks through the last trees and springs over something really huge and ends back on a dirty road, I scream one last time. But my scream sound more like a loud cry._

_I hear different voices calling as the horse balkes again and this time I lose my hold and fall down hard onto my arm with my weight and I cry out in pain as I feel it run through my arm._

_Everything happens so fast as suddenly someone press me harshly more to the ground and hovered in a protecting stance over me to shield me from the hooves and I hear him groan in pain before he whispers my name into my ear. _

_A second later, I finally open my eyes carefully and stare into the most beautiful eyes in the world. His eyes are full of worry as he watches me. _

"_Are you alright Miss Isabella? I am afraid you hit your back as you fell down." he says softly and slowly move away from me before he helps me up. _

_I can´t speak because after all this years, he is so close to me again. All the time I have watched him from afar, dreamt about such a moment and to have him so close now, that I can feel his heat and smell his scent, is just too much. We are not children anymore and my heart jumps wildly because I am in his presence __again __after all these years._

_Everything overwhelms me so fast as I see Mrs. Whitlock coming down from the porch as well as Caroline, both with worried faces. I can hear Mr. Whitlock behind us struggling with the scared horse. Willow - the name of the mare. It's Willow. I thought out of nowhere.  
_

_It was too much. My whole body trembles and I feel so embarrassed and overwhelmed and happy at the same time, at everything that has just happened. _

_Tears still brick my eyes now even more as I look frantically around me while I try to calm my heart, but fail. My emotions get the better part of me and I faint. The last thing I am aware of are his worried eyes as I fell into his arms and my father´s worried voice comming from afar._

* * *

"Isabella." I hear him call me and I look up. He sits already on his horse as I stare at his outstretched hand.

"You have my word as a gentleman that nothing will harm you with my horse while I hold you. Baby Blue is really a friendly horse Isabella. Trust me." he smiles.

"Jasper," I look back at his face. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Everything." he whispers softly while staring deeply into my eyes.

I blinked several times before I find my voice again.

"Don´t be so formal with me. You don´t have to. Please." I say unsure.

Jasper just continue to smile at me before bending down to grab me around my waist. In one move I am sitting in front of him with my legs on either side of the horse and his arm holds me tightly against him while his other hand holds the reins. A gasp escape my lips and I hear him chuckle.

I knew he did that only because I asked him not to act like a gentlemen.  
To feel his chest against my back again is almost too much. My hands hold my dress in a death grip.  
While we rode in a slow pace, I cannot deny it any longer how much I love this intimacy with Jasper. He is such an amazing man.  
So many times I think to that one day that lead to our times in the fields.

~o~

_My father is sitting on his stool in the kitchen, waiting for his breakfast that my mother and I making. It is still early while my mother makes the bread dough on the stove for her special sunday bread we all love so much, I am sitting by my father and peels the potatoes. I look through the door and into the great room. It is barely seven. In a few hours we will be leaving for church. I am so looking forward to it. Because Jasper will be there.  
Two days have passed since the horse accident and my shoulder which I have bruised through the fall, still hurt but is healing quite properly._  
_  
My mother is just explaining to me, which are the best incredients for a good breakfast, as we suddenly hear a knock on the front door and my father went to answer it. Mother shrugs her shoulders and continues to cook. I on the other hand, am curious and needs to know who has come in this early morning. So I dry my hands on my apron of my day dress and follows my father silently into the hall._

_As I peek around the corner and watch my father, I only see my father's broad shoulders. I cannot see our guest at all, only hear a male voice._  
_I frown before the voice becomes familiar and the butterflies in my stomach are back again. I have just turn around to walk back inside the kitchen but forgot the one creaky floor board in the whole hall. I never forget it.  
I wince and the sound echoes loudly through the house and makes me imobile. And of course my father turns around._

_"Isabella. You have a visitor." he says a little bit irritated. Huh..._  
_Wait...what?_  
_What has my father said? _I_ have a visitor, not my parents?_

_My father still awaits expectantly for me to welcome him. With a very quick heartbeat, I walk to my father, not looking away from his face before I step in front of him to greet my visitor._  
_"Hello Mr. Whitlock. It's nice to see you again." I feel my hands sweat and grab the apron on my skirt tightly while the pounding of my heart drone in my ears. "What give us the pleasure of your visit?" I say formal like I know my father wants it. When it comes to guests in our home, my father stands on ceremony._  
_Jasper stands on our front porch, with what I assume was his best day clothing and with his hat in both his hands. His blond curly moop which I love so much, stuck out in every direction. I supress a smile at seeing it. He seems a little nervous to be here, but that cannot be. I mean a man like Jasper Whitlock..._

_I am sure I think too much...again._

_"Hello Miss Isabella. I am glad to see that you are looking better. As my mother told me that you had injured your shoulder worse than we thought, I was worried." he says and a shy smile shows up on his face. My heartbeat incrase and I hear my father sigh before he excuse himself._

_"Um..." Jasper seems at a loss of words for a few seconds. He stares at me and than exhales once._

_"Miss Isabella, would you come with me for a walk. I need to ask you something important." I am sure he can see my shocked impression. I am not sure what to say to him. Of course I want to go but I can feel the presence of my father in the next room. I know he is listening intently._

_"Um...well, I would like that but I don't think my father will let me go since I have to help my mother in the kitchen and–" I stammer out nervously and Jasper stop me midsentence._

_"It will not be long. I promise. We will just walk over there to the end of the road." He promises and I nod before stepping out and closing the door behind me._  
_As we walk along the dirty and dusty road, both of us are silent. I am still in shock to see him and that he has asks for me. Jasper never seems to notice me before. Questions to why he wants to see me rushes through my head. All the time my eyes are fixing my feet. It will be so embarressing if I would fall now over something._  
_I am so lost in my thoughts and the question why Jasper wants to speak with me that I almost not hear him._

_"How is your shoulder Isabella?" he asks softly and I frown at that. For that he has come to my house and ask me out._

_"Um, my shoulder is okay. It hurts only sometimes." I answer unsure and look up into his face. Jasper looks so nervous all of a sudden. Why?_  
_Before I can open my mouth to ask him if he is alright, he beats me to it._

_"Isabella, will you come to the fields with me this afternoon. I have found a really beautiful place that I want to show you."_  
I remember the moment so often and am so grateful my father allows me to spend time with Jasper.

~o~

"Will you come to the dance?" he whispers into my ear that send shivers all over my skin. I have to close my eyes for a moment because I feel a little dizzy. I hope he cannot feel my turmoil. A moment later, as my heart has calmed down, I can finally answer him.  
"Mother suggest that I shall attend it. But you know that I am not such a good dancer at all." I hear him chuckle softly. Of course he knows about my clumsiness, who does not.

"and she thinks it is time. Father wants to wait three more years before someone shall court me but the war is coming. And mother says the dance will be a good chance to finally find a future husband for me." I say numbly and feel him tense up behind me. Jaspers hold on me gets tighter as he hears that.  
For a while we rode in silence and I can feel that something is wrong with him. But Jasper has not said a word and I am to chicken to ask him. The silence lay so heavy over us that it makes me uncomfortable. Until he speaks again.

"And what do you think about your mother´s suggestion?" I swear he sounds upset.

"Well, I do not want it." Jasper relaxes visibly which confuse me to no end.

"But I cannot go against her. _Not anymore_." I whisper the last part sadly.  
"Mother is right in a way. I have to find someone in the end and she is so excited because obviously mother already has spoken with a few families about me. I don´t even know them or their sons but I overheard mother this morning as she said to father that Mr. Thomas jr., son of the banker, has some interest in me and want to spend some time with me at the summer dance.

And another man which name I have forgotten but his family owns a part of the local railway company in texas. Maybe you know them? Mother says their youngest son is away at the Boston College or something like that. But he will come home soon. Father cannot stop her now. He has done it in the past because he thought I was too young, but now…" I went silent as I remember the conversation as if it was yesterday.

~o~

_"Isabella is now at an age where other young women are engaged by now and planning their weddings. The war has changed the priorities Charles. I will not accept your refusal this time. Just this morning I met Mary Ann in town and she told me that her third daughter, Margret, is now engaged to Mr. Davis and she is a year younger than Isabella." My mother says with an authority that I know she will win this discussion._

_"Sarah, you cannot honestly believe that I will give my daughter to the next best candidate you think is good for her. She is only sixteen and not even in love." My father argues back and let himself fall back into his chair, tired of all the arguing about me._

_"No Charles, I want what is best for her. All the young men will go away for the war. I have no choice if I want for our Isabella a husband in the future. Soon she will be too old for any man." She almost cries at the thought and silent sobs wrecks her body as she sits down beside my father._

_"Be lucky I found two amazing young men who are great a sight with a good background Charles. I just wants what is good for her. We aren't getting younger and the war is so close to our home. What will happen to our Isabella Charles." Father soothes her for a moment before he speaks again._  
_I have been sitting at the stairs all the time and listen to the argument between my parents._

_"Isabella!" my father calls for me and I quickly come downstairs._  
_My mother still cries silently while my father rubs her back. As he finally looks at me, I know what he will say._

_"Isabella, I know you heard what we discussed before." I only nod._  
_"And your mother is right. You have to find a husband. Precisely in times like these, it is good to have a husband and their families. It is too dangerous for a young woman right now. We will not always be here for you. We are getting old sweetheart." My mother looks up with relieve and sadness mixed in her eyes but my father holds his hand up._

_"I am not yet finish Sarah. As I said, you have to find a husband but only to be engaged. You are too young for a marriage. I want him to know you and spend some time with you before you marry him." My mother is more than happy with that. My face shows nothing from my heartbreak as I nod before leaving the room again. I silently run out of the main house and disappear into the barn and let myself fall into a ball of hay. Sobs rock my body while tears fall from my eyes.  
_

_They don't know that I am already deeply in love with someone. Nobody knows that, only my heart._

_~o~  
_

Jasper and I don´t speak again as we rode back. I have a bad feeling that I made him upset.  
As we nears my house, I can see my father waiting on the porch. As soon as he sees us, his frown disappears and he walks back into the house. I have to smile at his behavior.  
The afterglow of the sunset is still visible and draws beautiful colors on the sky. For a few moments, I am captives to it.  
Suddenly Jasper stops the horse and slids down.

Without a word he grabs my waist and put me slowly to the ground.

In the past he has brought me always 'til the porch but now we are almost a half mile away. I am not sure what I have done so I say the first thing that come into my mind.

"Jasper, I am sorry. It seems I made you upset. I did not mean it and–" Jasper silence me with a finger on my lips which shock me.

"Isabella, you did not do anything wrong. Believe me." he says and takes again my right hand in his, looking intently at it for a moment.

"But you were upset before and I can still see it in your eyes." I am so confused now.

"I am sorry Isabella. Do not worry about me." he tries to smile but it does not reach his eyes.

"But I am. Especially if it was for something I said." I whisper and he sighs while his thumb strokes slowly over my hand.

"I am only upset because I do not want you to feel obligated for this dance." He answers calmly.

"I am not. Mother is right, and…" I fall silent. I cannot believe that I give this thought a possibility.

"And what?" he asked slightly alarmed.

"And maybe this Mr. Thomas is nice..._or the railway son in Bosten_." I say absently while my gaze is fixing my father´s house in the distance.  
I can feel how Jasper let go of my hand before he steps back slightly. I feel a pang inside my chest at his gesture. I do not want to lose his touch, ever. But I have no choice.

"I heard the news about your sister." I try to change the topic of our conversation somehow but Jasper doesn't want that.  
He grabs my chin and turns my head so that I have to look into his eyes.

"Isabella I–" he began but gets interrupted.

"ISABELLA! IT IS LATE! SAY GOODNIGHT TO MR. WHITLOCK!" I hear my father yell from the porch.  
I am so glad that we are far enough so that the porch light don´t reach us and that the sunset began to dim.  
My heated skin almost glows under Jasper´s gaze as he still stares into my eyes and holds my gaze.

"Yes father!" I answer back without looking towards him.  
I hear him huff and the door close again.  
Jasper´s thumb strokes absently over my skin under my lips and I hold my breath.

"I have to go. My father waits for me." I whisper finally after a long moment without him saying anything.  
His hand grabs mine a little tighter at that.

"Isabella…I…" he struggles to ask me something and I feel my heartbeat increase in anticipation.  
But he composes himself quickly after that.

"Miss Isabella, let me dance with you at the summer dance." he asks more determined.

"Of course. I would love nothing more Mr. Whitlock." I answer like a lady should. At least I can dance with him. The dance will probably the last time Jasper will be so close to me. And to end it with a dance is the best way, _I think_. Because after the dance mother will invite my maybe future husband. No rides with Jasper anymore. I cannot help were my thoughts lead me.

"All of your dances." Jasper said suddenly and captures my eyes once more. His gaze send shivers down my spine.

"I-I…What?" I squeak out.

"Promise me that you will give me your dances Isabella." he whispers.

"O-Okay. I promise you Jasper." I said breathlessly and he takes my right hand and kisses the back.  
In the next moment, Jasper grabs me around my waist and I am sitting sideways on his horse again.  
While he walks beside me, I feel him looking at me from the corner of his eye. The only thing that is on my mind now is that he has asked me for some unknown reason to the dance. _Me_.

I still cannot believe it. Nobody has asked me before. He is the first. And when I think about it, Jasper is the only one I will say yes with my whole heart.  
As he stops in front of the porch, he helps me down from Baby Blue. I want to say goodnight to him but Jasper touches my cheek softly and the words get lost.

"I am looking forward to the dance now." he whispers before stepping back and mounts his horse.

Jasper tips his invisible hat and rode away into the night.  
I stand for a moment on the porch, gripping the railing with both hands as I watch him disappear into the forest before I turn around and walk inside the house.  
My cheeks are on fire both from the blush and the smile that covers my face and as I lean against the wooden door, my mind is still by Jasper as my heart races away. My whole body feels alive, more than ever before.  
My father comes into the hallway and watches me with a confused look.  
"Isabella?" I turn my head to him.

"What is it?" my mother comes out of the kitchen and is watching first my father and then turns around and sees me before a bright smile crosses her face as well.

"What has this Whitlock kid done to my daughter?" my father frowns now obviously not happy about my behavior.

"Hush!" my mother waves her hand at him and distracts him from his growing anger. After a moment I found my voice again.

"Jasper Whitlock has just asked me to dance with him." I say in wonder.

* * *

The summer dance from our town is always a great encounter to meet other people. The festival is not only for the local people from our town but from the neighboring towns too. Many have attend it in the past and I know it was a huge opportunity for my mother to find someone for me. How much I wish to be invisible now...  
For hours she has prepared us both for the event and I already reget it that I have agreed to this ridiculous things.

The dance is in full swing as my parents and I arrive. In the wide opening of the meadow beside the church which is our school too, was built a huge dance floor. The place is full of couples, dancing along the music that plays beside it. Everything is surrounded with chains of lights that hang around the place and in the trees. It gives such a romantic feeling. It is amazing how they have decorated it this year.  
I look around as I follow father while my mother accompanies me of course but she has already seen her friends along the way and is chatting with them about the newest scandal.  
I roll my eyes at their antics as we follow father over the bridge and towards the festival.  
As soon as we are close enough to the dancing people, my father excuses himself and walks towards the music where I see a few men standing and laughing.  
One of them was Mr. Whitlock sr.  
When Mr. Whitlock sr. is here, that means that Jasper is here too, somewhere. My stomach turns around at that thought.

My eyes searching around the place but only finds Mrs. Whitlock who walks over to us in all her glory with a bright smile. A few minutes later I spot Caroline, who is dancing like it is her second nature.

Suddenly as I look around at all the beautiful women, I feel not good enough anymore, especially in this dress.  
Mother walks me to one of the many benches and I feel eyes on me which follows me the whole way but I dare myself to look up.  
I keep my eyes downcast.  
It is so difficult to walk gallant and gracious with these shoes. They hurt and I hate them. And the holes in the grass don´t make it better. I grip my fingers tighter around the fabric of my skirt while I hold it up slightly.  
My dress has a light green color and the fabric is made of satin with laced short sleeves over a linen chemise and of course shoulder free. Mother made an excellent work on it and on my hair as well. She styled it in ringlets on the sides and a small bun in my back. But still I feel insecure as I see the other girls in their beautiful gowns, mostly made from my mothers hands.  
I am just so plain and simple and Jasper will not notice me. Maybe he will stay away from me today when he sees all the beautiful women and ask one of them instead.  
My father is still standing with Mr. Whitlock sr. and laughs loudly at something with Jasper´s father while I search along the crowd for my mother. I am afraid she is already on her mission "_marry Isabella off_".

I finally find her standing by a group of women, speaking to a young man and an older woman beside her. The young man smiles at her before he looks into my direction and nod his head in a greeting as he sees me looking. I blush deeply and avert my eyes.  
After a moment I look back and see the young man walking towards me. _Oh no_. My hands clap tightly together and I get nervous. I so not want that now.  
I look away again until I feel his presents.

"Hello Miss Isabella." I hear his warm voice and look up to him. He smiles politely and bow lightly. He is handsome nonetheless. His dark brown hair is grobbed back and his eyes has such a light blue color which I have never seen before. _Wow_.  
"My name is Brian Thomas." I nod formal at him, knowing very well why he is here now and sees suddenly out of my eyes on the right side a familiar face.

Against the wall of the church leans casually, with one leg lift to it, Jasper Whitlock, staring at me while a man speaks to him which he seems to ignore. He looks absolutely stunning and for a second I cannot listen to what Mr. Thomas says.  
"I am sorry what have you said sir?" I ask politely as I look back to him and away from Jasper who obviously tries to hold my gaze.

"May we take a walk around?" he holds his arm out for me to take and I know that this was my mother's doing. She is possibly watching me now too.  
I give him a smile and stand up before I link my hand around his arm. I don't look to Jasper again so I cannot tell what he is doing.

"I hope I am not to forward coming Isabella. But I never have gotten the chance for a conversation with you and I truly wanted to know you better." I am shocked to hear his interest for me.

"I never knew you was interested Mr. Thomas." He laughs heartly as we both walk over the lawn and towards the town.

"Well Miss Isabella, I am. And that for a long time now." he reveals. _Is this a blush I see._ I smile at that and must admit that Mr. Thomas is really nice.  
We walk silently until the music isn't so loud anymore.

"So, I hear that you will own the bank soon, is that right Mr. Thomas?" I ask politely, remembering the conversation from my mother as she told me about the family.

"Well, that is right. I am suprise to hear that you knows about me. But yes, the bank has expaned and most of it already belongs to me but my father is old and wants to enjoy his age without the problems a bank brings." he smiles down at me.

"It's nice of you to care so much of your parents. Not everyone nowadays thinks like you."

"Yes, I know what you mean. I have seen it with my own eyes. Mostly in the bigger cities. It is sad that many young people like us do not wish to look after their parents anymore."  
We speak for quite a while and walking around until Mr. Thomas stops.

"I have to apologize but I heard before that you are otherwise engaged or else I would have ask to court you earlier Miss Isabella."

"Court me?" I ask in shock.

"Yes. But I was told that you spent a lot of time with Mr. Whitlock. And so I assumed he has asked you already. But since our mothers spoken about the possibility of a marriage, I doubt that." we round the street and come to the bridge that part the place from the church and the meadow with the rest of the town. As soon as Mr. Thomas says the word marriage, my stomach twist and I want to leave.

"Well, he is our neighbor and my father works for his family. But no he has not ask such thing. As you might know, I am out of his class. I am only the daughter of a simple worker." I hear him sigh deeply.

"Isabella, you may not reach Mr. Whitlocks standards but you are reaching mine completely." I blush deeply at that and look quickly away at the dancing people on the other end.

"But let me tell you this Isabella, since I like you very much." I look back at him in confusion.

"Mr. Whitlock is a great charmer and player. I know him and have heard stories. I can say that single women are very attractive for him." He lay his hand over mine that hold onto his arm.

"What is that suppose to mean Mr. Thomas?" my question came out harsher than I thought and he just looks at me.

"I am sorry. Mr. Thomas you mean it well. Your concern is very welcome." I see him smile at my answer. "But I have my own opinion at Mr. Whitlock. And when my own father can trust him enough to let me spent time with him, than I think it is safe to say that there is nothing wrong." I let go of his arm and step away.

"Thank you Mr. Thomas for your time but I want to go back." he nods formal and bow lightly like a gentleman.

"Can I bring you back to your seat Miss Isabella?" he ask me and I take his arm again.  
Mr. Thomas stands true to his promise and walks me back to my seat. On our way, he talks to me occasionally and I just smile politely.  
I am so glad as he leave me without any questions and I sigh as I am finally alone again. I cannot believe what Mr. Thomas has just told me. How can he insult Jasper so deeply?  
It makes me sad to hear that people would think such terrible things about Jasper.  
_Jasper..._

I was so deep into my thoughts as someone appear at a proper distance in front of me. It is him and I am mesmerized by his smile. Every bad thought disappear as I see his smile.  
Jasper bows to me, still standing at a proper distance while he bent his body gracefully, accompanies by a slight motion of his right hand in front of him as he looks at me amicably.

"Will you do me the honor to dance with me Miss Isabella?" Jasper says respectfully and remain in the position.

"With pleasure sir." I say before I lay my hand in his and he leads me to the dance floor.

"You look absolutely stunning tonight Isabella." he whispers into my ear and I blush deeply.

"Thank you." I whisper shyly at his compliment.

"I hope Mr. Thomas has not said something unrespectfull and made you upset." I just smile at Jasper as we step on the dance floor.  
As I look around us, my nervousness grows as well as my fear that I will do something wrong. Of course my mother has taught me every dance. Every evening I would have danced in the living room with my father until I knew every step. But knowing the steps and actually being a good dancer, are two different things.  
I hear the ending of a polka and I am glad that the next dance is a waltz. I never was a good polka dancer, to many quick steps where I can stumble and break my bones or someone else's. I stand now in front of Jasper and brought my left hand tod his shoulder, his right hand lays around my waist while his other holds my right hand lightly.

It is then that it occured to me that this is the first time I dance with Jasper.  
The music starts and we move around the dance floor like every other dance couples. Jasper is such an amazing dancer. I am so tense but he leads me around like he has danced all his life.  
After a moment all my worries disappear and I enjoy my time with him. At the end of our forth dance we finally take a break and Jasper walks me towards the church.  
I feel a little dizzy from the whole dancing and he goes to the tables for some refreshment for me.

While I wait patiently for Jasper, I see Mary Brown, the town's most beautiful woman, gracious walking over to me and while she gives me a pityfull glance as she observes my dress.  
"You know Isabella, even the most skilled mother like yours cannot change you into a swan. You will always be the little ugly duck in the background. Believe me. The dress cannot hide the fact that you are just a daughter of a working-class family." I feel the tears sting in my eyes at her words while her smile gets brighter. Her friends giggle in the background while I want nothing more than disappear. I feel so small and humiliated at that moment.  
"Oh and I have some news for you Isabella. Since you have danced all the time with Mr. Whitlock, it is obvious that you do not know the liaison between us and that he has escort me to the dance." she comes closer.  
"My mother has already arranged everything with the Whitlocks. I will be soon engaged to him. So I would really apreciate it if you would stop throwing yourself at my future husband. That is so patetic, even for you." I stand there, the shock written on my face at what Mary Brown has just said. Every word from her stabs my heart more and more.  
I have known it was too good to be true.

Jasper would never see something more than a neighbor in me. I feel my chest tighten as Mary giggles with her friends behind their hands.

"Is that so Mary Brown? My brother has never mentioned you. But Isabella´s name fall over his lips all the time." Caroline comes up to me and put an arm around me. I stare at her in shock while her eyes throw daggers at Mary.  
"And before you assume anything with my dear brother, you should at least have spoken with him one word. And Mary, I know you never did. So don´t insult Isabella again or my family won´t be so nice anymore in the future."

"Oh don´t worry Caroline, Isabella and I are finish with our conversation, aren't we?." she gives me a seet smile.

"But just a suggestion for you Caroline," Mary stops for a second to look at me.

"Even you do not know everything from your dear brother. So stop it right now. You are not the only one in the influential circles here. And who knows, maybe Jasper and I have spoken with each other." Mary says smugly and gives me a hateful glance before she and her friends quickly disappear.

My vision blurs lightly and I step back, pressing myself against the wooden panels from the church while I try to compose myself and breathe in deeply.  
Tears want to break free but I cannot cry now. Not here in front of all the people.

"Isabella? Are you alright?" I cannot speak so I just shock my head no.

"Do not believe one word that Mary Brown has said before. Nothing from that is true." She tries to sooth me but I can see something different in her eyes. Finally I find my breath again.  
"Y-You don´t have to say that Caroline. I am well aware that your brother is out of my reach. Mary Brown is right. I am coming from a working-class family and I must know my place. Escpecially if they will be soon engaged." I whisper between heavy breathes as I try to dismiss the fact that I am in love with her brother.  
Out of my eye I see Jasper coming our way with two glasses sweet tea in his hands, still with a bright smile on his beautiful face until he sees me.

I have never see him lose his smile so quick. His pace gets quicker and I need to get away without speaking to him. Caroline is still by my side, holding my arms until she sees Jasper too. I avert my eyes and use her distraction for my benefit.  
I cannot handle Jasper right now without making a fool of me.

"Excuse me please." I say politely to Caroline before Jasper has reached us.

"Isabella, wait…!" she calls out but I walk quickly away towards my father.

I want to go home. I want to go home and never come out and become an old maid. The words Mary Brown has said, still echoes in my head.  
_  
Ugly duck...you will always be the little ugly duck in the background...stop throwing yourself at my future husband...__future husband_..._future husband_..._future husband_

And she is right, I will always be this...this plain nothing in this world. I can be lucky if someone will marry me eventually.  
Immediatelly Mr. Thomas come into my mind and what he has said about Jasper before. That he is a player and likes the presence of women. Even my mother has said many times that those kind of men are dangerous for unmarried girls. _Is that all true_? Is Jasper just playing with my heart? Deep inside me, I feel that he is a good man all along. But the nagging feeling tugs at my heart. Maybe I have just to accept the fact that Jasper will always be a dream.

With this final thought, I turn and walk towards my mother instead to my father. I do not dare to look at Jasper or Caroline again this evening. I would just make a foul out of me and everyone would laugh about it.  
I even don´t know how Jasper reacted at my sudden leaving. Maybe Caroline told him about Mary Brown and he is glad that I know it now. He is probably with her now, enjoying her presence more than the dances we have shared. My chest tighten painfully and I feel like someone has punched me into it.

I have to stop that. Mother and father want to be proud of me. So I quickly try to distract me from the thoughts I have about Jasper and give Mr. Thomas my full attention. For the rest of the evening, Brian and I talk and occationally someone of his family joins us. In the right moments I smile and laugh but my heart feels like a stone. So heavy in my chest.  
Mother is happy that I joined her. She has smiled the whole evening about Mr. Thomas and me and how much it seems that I have impressed him. She is happy that Brian is so interested in me.

After a while I stop listening to her and as my father comes over and they began dancing, Mr Thomas ask me to dance with him too.  
At first I am hesistant and all I hear for a second is Jaspers voice, as he ask me for all my dances.  
But after a moment staring at Brian´s hand, I take it. My heart isn´t here anymore and I just dance with him. I say nothing and stare at everything and nothing at the same time. I can feel how a numbness spreads slowly through me as he whirled me around and around. I am like a doll, moving to the music. _Will I be like this for the rest of my life after learning about the feeling of pure love that will never be mine?_

My thoughts are running back towards Jasper and how much I wish it could be his hand around my waist, wishing it would be his presence and not Mr. Thomas but knowing very well that it will never happen again. In this moment, I feel more alone than ever in my whole life and I want nothing more than to lay in my bed and cry.  
Finally, my father announces that we will leave and I sigh silently in relief as Brian let go of my hand and waist before taking a step back from me as the music ends.

"Thank you Miss Isabella for this evening." he bows and I give him a tight smile and thanks him as well before I walk with my father away to our old carriage. Mother is sitting already up on it and holds the reins as father helps me the two steps up so that I sit beside her.

~o~

My parents have just an old wooden carriage, a simple one and not the luxury carriages many uses to have newadays. My father says we do not need such useless things. A carriage is for work or to bring you from A to B.  
As father takes the reins and clicks with his tongue, I hear some arguing and look in the direction from where it's coming while my father moves the carriage around.  
As we drive away, I see Jasper. He was arguing with..._Brian Thomas_? About what I don´t know because both are too far away.  
_Oh my god!_  
At first he doesn´t see me until my father clicks his tongue again a little louder to bring the mare into a faster trot while mumbling something to her.  
Immediately Jasper´s head turns towards me and all I can see are his eyes. My heart is beating so fast and it seems time stands still in the few seconds he holds my gaze.

His eyes are so sad as we look at each other but at the same time so angry and his whole body trembles. I can see it all and it pains me so much. I hear Caroline calling him from somewhere but Jasper still just looks at me, Brian Thomas in a death grip at the collar of his shirt, until the carriage finally is rounding a house and breaks the moment between us.

I sigh heavily in relief and look down at the fabric of my dress which I still hold tightly in my fists as a single tear slid down my cheek. I still can hear Jasper and Mr. Thomas arguing as father steers the carriage away into the dark night.

Mother begans to tell father about my encounter with Mr. Thomas while behind us the town gets smaller and the music and lights ebbs away.  
"Charles, you should have been there. Mr. Thomas was so taken with our Isabella and spoke only highly about her. I never have seen our Isabella like this. She has shown only her best behaviour. I am so proud of her. And he enjoyed her company immensely the whole evening." she says with so much enthusiasm while father just listen and makes some noises here and there.  
But all the time my heart wants nothing more than to run back and find Jasper, telling him my feelings but my head reminds me to why I should not. Pictures of Mary Brown and Jasper at their engagment party fill my mind and my heart aches even more.

"I think he will court Isabella."

"Court? This boy should at first come to me and introduce himself proberly. I do not care who he is Sarah!" my father says harsh not looking at her.

"Oh hush, his family is well known in town. His father has-"

"I damn well know who his father is and I know the boy too. But if he wants to court _my_ daughter, then he will introduce himself and ask for my permition Sarah!" father isn´t happy about it and mother just sighs.

"If it would happen your way Charles, then Isabella wouldn´t even be allowed to look at a man until she is thirty." she sighs and I stop listen after that while my parents continue to talk about me before they quiet down finally. The silence overtook all of us and I stare into the night. The pale moonlight dances over the fields and the road and the trees throw funny shadows to the ground. But the only thing I have in mind is my heart, and how it slowly breaks appart, crumbling to dust.

~o~

We are almost on our property as I hear a horse behind us and someone calling my father. He pulls the reins and stops the carriage. Soon I see someone approach.  
"Kid it is late. What do you want that cannot wait until tomorrow?" my father says in his _don´t make me angry_ voice.  
I see Jasper coming out from the dark and my heart jumps.  
"I need to speak to Miss Isabella. It is really important sir. It won´t be long and I will bring her home so you don´t have to wait sir." I frown at his request.

My father looks at me with a raised eyebrow but I look down to my hands, which fidges with my dress. I don´t want to speak with Jasper, doesn´t matter how much my heart jumps when he is close. I cannot allow it. He is the dream I can never make true.

"Obviously my daughter don´t wish to speak with you son. Has something happened between you two?" my father asks suddenly at my behaviour and I feel my heartbeat pound louder in my ears and grab my dress which I hold in my fists, tighter.

"No sir. Just a missunderstanding." I hear Jasper say. I want to snort at that. _Yes, as if Mary Brown´s revelation was a missunderstaning_. She has made it very clear and wouldn´t make a fool of herself infront of people if she isn´t sure. What other people think about her is important for Mary Brown.

"Isabella?" I hear my father say tired but I stare deeply at my hands, my fists crumple the fabric of my dress as my stubbornness gets the better part of me.

"Well, I think it is clear son. Go home. It is late." I hear my fathers final words and he clicks his tongue again but before the mare starts to move, I am hearing it.  
_Jasper´s plea!_

Oh god...why. Why has this man such a power over me. I close my eyes with a heavy sigh, before I touch my father´s arm.

"I want to speak with him father." I say and my father grumbles something under his breath that I cannot quite understand. But it sounded like ´_young people_´ and with that he stops the carriage and climps down with a frown before he helps me.  
I just stand there, not looking at Jasper at all as my father lectures him.

"If she isn´t home before I went to bed, than it was the last time son. Do you understand me." he says.

"Sir, yes sir!" with that my father sit back on the carriage and clicks his tongue once more before the mare trots towards our house at the end of the long dusty road. I still stand forlorn beside the street and fumbles with my dress nervously. I have no desire to be with him right now. I am sure Jasper just wants to tell me in person what Mary Brown already told me.  
I hear Jaspers footsteps as he comes closer and his hand reaches out for mine softly. Hesistantly my fingers loosen the death grip around the fabric of the dress and he can intertwines our fingers finally, like he has done so many times before. I sigh softly at the feeling our touch gives me and hear Jaspers soft sigh as well. It feels so right. Everything with Jasper does, like only him touching me can push all the heavy clouds away so that only the good feelings stay. It amaze me every time anew what Jasper can do to me.  
But the pain in my chest comes back tenfold, reminding me to the evening with Mary Brown and I withdraw my fingers from Jasper quickly and take a step away from him.

"_Isabella..._" his whisper sounds shocked but I don´t look at him, instead I stare towards my home in the distance and see my parents arrive. Father is holding mothers hand as she steps down from the carriage. As mother walks up the porch, father takes a look back to me and after a moment he disconect the mare from the carriage and brings her into the barn.  
I know he will feed her a little bit and groom her body with hay before following my mother inside the house. As soon as father disappeares in the barn, Jasper takes a step closer until he is in front of me.

"Please look at me." I sigh and turn my head to him but don't look into his eyes. To see Jasper standing there is just too much.

"Would you then listen to what I have to say Isabella?" I watch him out of my eye for a moment before I finally look him directly in the eyes with a frown.

"Well, that is why you have come to my father Mr. Whitlock, you wanted to speak to me." I say formal to put some distance between us and I swear, I saw him wince before I look back to the barn.

"Please call me by my name Isabella. Please." he whispers but I don't respond to his plea this time. I know Jasper has given me his consent to call him by his first name when we have come to the fields together for the first time. It has been the first thing he ask me to do.  
But now I find it hard to call him that after tonight. His family has always been so generous with us. And I know my status and will not overstep the line more than I already have.  
The Whitlock family is one of the wealthiest families around Houston and well respected. They own huge acres of land that succesful cultivate cotton for generations by now.

And my parents and me are only ordinary people, a _working-class family for the rich people_, that use to live close by, without any high social class standards or a wealthy background to compare with.

Father has always been a hard worker. But his dream has always been the same. Some land that he can call his own and a family to provide. As he marries my mother, he has promised her to care for her and their child, which began to grow under her heart. So he has traveled down to the south and for a while he worked at the railway. But the problem with this job was that my father wanted to settle down as soon as possible. As he one day overheared the others speaking from the Whitlocks that lived nearby, he decided to try it there.

Mr. Whitlock, Jasper's grandfather, has given him the job and for the next few years, father has worked hard under his strong eyes. Mr Whitlock has been a good man, so I heard. My father only speaks good of him. From him my father learned everything about cotton and farming.  
And for a while it has been good but the distance between my parents has been hard for them. They have written each other as often as possible. During those letters, my father has learned of the miscarriage from my mother. Her sadness grows into melancholie after that and she has cried much. It has been too much for her. Father has been by the point where he just wanted to go back. Somehow Mr. Whitlock heard of the situation and that's when my father became owner of his own land. The property is small but for us it is enough.  
A month later my mother arrives. And a year later I was born.

Father and mother have become close friends to Mr. Whitlocks family after time. The Whitlocks has never looked down to the stuff or people which are ordinary. They aren't as the most wealthy families nowadays. If so I don't think I could have played with Caroline as a child or Jasper would not have offer his time for me.  
I never have looked up to the wealthy people nor do I wish to be one of them. I am content with who I am. Isabella, daughter of a small hard working cotton farmer.

But right now, just for a second, I wish to be wealthy. Maybe than it is possible to hope for my dream to be true. Just a second.  
But reality is hard. So I can only hope that one day I have a husband who will look at me the same way like my father does look at my mother.

Jaspers voice finally brings me back.

"Why are you so formal all of a sudden?" he asks quietly and I feel his fingers under my chin but I refuse to look at him.  
"I know my class Mr. Whitlock. I am graceful beyond all measures that you have spent some of your time with me in the fields. I will treasure this for the rest of my life because no one has ever been generous enough to do that. But I–" as I say this, Jasper let go of my chin.

"Has this anything to do with tonight? Because my sister informed me that Mary Brown has made you upset but Caroline refused to tell me the reason."

I can still feel the heat on my chin where Jasper has touched me just seconds before.

"Mary Brown has only informed me about your early engagment that will happen with her. My congratulations Mr. Whitlock. Mary Brown is a lucky woman." I try to smile but I don't think I have success.  
The ache fills my heart so much that I barely can stand still.

"What? Mary Brown and..." he began before he sighes and steps so close to me that his body almost touches me.

"Isabella do you believe me when I tell you that Mary Brown will never be my fiance." Jasper asks me and I finally look at him. He is so close to me and his eyes looks so thruthfully that I feel my chest tighten even more.  
"I–I..." I stammer while I stare into his deep brown eyes. I am mesmerized whenever Jasper captures my gaze, either from afar or from nearby.  
His posture radiates determination and strenght but his eyes tells me something different.

"She said that your parents already have arange everything between you two." He shakes his head no and it confused me. Jasper uses my distraction and takes my hand in his again. And I let him.

"You are wrong. My mother only spoke with Nancy Brown about the bakery of Mary´s birthday cake. My mother would never do such a thing behind my back. She knows that I am..." he stops suddenly.

"Isabella, can you not see it? Think about it. Do you really believe I consider a marriage with a woman I do not love?"

"No." I gasp as I realize the truth in it. Since Jasper and I have spent time together in the fields, he once told me that he never can marry a woman without love.

"So you will not be engaged to Mary Brown?" I ask quickly and see him smile a bit as hope grow inside me for something I know I can never have. For so long, I have convinced myself now that Jasper sees me only as a little sister. Doesn't matter how much he can affect me. He will always sees me as the little neighbor girl while butterflies grow in my belly everytime I see him. Even just thinking about him let me feel them.

"No I am not Isabella. I needed to tell you that tonight after I haven´t gotten the chance at the dance. You avoided me so much and even Caroline was not able to speak with you. Then you was the rest of the evening in the company of your mother and Brian Thomas." he says his name with a frown and silence fall over us for a moment.

Suddenly the clouds part again and the light from the moon fall over us and lights up the road. Through this, I can see his face even better and I gasp in shock and hold my hand over my mouth.

"J-Jasper? What happens to your face?" I ask him as I stare at the left side of his slightly swollen cheek. Flashes of the argument between Jasper and Mr. Thomas come back and I remember Jaspers angry face and his tight grip around Mr. Thomas collar.

"I am okay Isabella." he smiles sheepishly.

"No you are not. Did Mr. Thomas do that to you? _Why_?"

Shock is all I can feel at the moment. Without thinking my hand reach up. And as I brush slightly over his swollen cheek, I hear him take a sharp intake of breath.  
I see a little bit of dry blood under his nose and I reach into my purse that hang on my dress to grab the fresh handkerchief. I haven't looked at Jasper, only at his swollen cheek and the blood.  
Absently I wet the handkerchief a little bit with my tongue and wipe away the blood. Just than I realize what I am doing and froze before letting my hand fall from his cheek and step away until enough space is between us.

"I-I am so sorry. I do not know why I just did this. I–" a deep blush colors my cheek as I stammer an apology. But it seems that Jasper isn't listening at all. His gaze send such a warm sensation through my whole body, more than ever. A wonderful feeling, and it grows in my belly with each moment. My chest heaves heavily as I try to breath normal. I need to calm down. But Jasper still stares at me like that and the butterflies in my belly grow even more.

As he comes out of his shock state, Jasper smiles softly at me. I close my eyes for a moment and my heart slows down finally. But the nervousness stays and I bite my lip as I open my eyes again and he finally speaks.

"Thank you Isabella. I think it is time to bring you home. Your father will not be pleased if I do not hold my word."

"Okay." I nod and we walk to his horse Baby Blue that has waited patiently in the darkness between two trees. Jasper mounts his horse at first before grabbing me again around my waist and settling me sideways in front of him. This way I am able to look at him while he rides with me along the road.

I see Jasper smile softly while he looks forward. His arm feels like an embrace and holds me securely to him. I want to sit like this forever, with him by my side. Jasper looks so comfortable again. The tension he has holding before, has completely vanished.

"Will you come tomorrow afternoon with me again?" Jasper suddenly speaks softly into my hair and startle me with it. I hear his soft chuckle before his arm around me tighten a little bit more because Baby Blue quicken his trot for several steps. I can feel Jasper squeeze his knees slightly to resume Baby Blue's pace again.  
We have almost reach the house and I look up to him.  
"I would love nothing more Jasper." I smile at him and Baby Blue stops in front of my fathers house but we don't look away from each other.

"Isabella..." he began as his eyes travels slowly over my face. Jasper let the reins fall which he holds with his left hand and presses his palm against my cheek. For a long moment nothing is important for me, nothing but Jasper. My breathing increase as the moment gets longer. The heat of his palm feels like a blissful fire which I cannot explain. This man has all the power over me and my heart.

But the moment comes to an aprubt end as I hear the door creak open. Jasper's hand leaves my cheek quickly and he dismounts his horse. I look to the now open door and see my father standing there, not pleased at all.  
Jasper holds out his hand and I grab it thankfully, feeling the electric jolt running through my arm. Our eyes meet for a moment before he helps me down.

"Thank you Jasper." I say and the light from the lamp my father holds in his hand fall over Jaspers face. I can see a light bruise over his cheek but say nothing.

"You are very welcome Miss Bella." he says formal and I frown at him.  
I still hold his hand but as I let go this time, I can feel the loss even more.

"Goodnight sir. Isabella." Jasper bows and sit up on Baby Blue again.  
Father doesn't let me watch Jasper ride away this time.

Tonight my dreams are filled with Jasper.

~o~

As promised, Jasper has come over this afternoon to ask me out into the fields. And once again the day has been wonderful with him, like it always is.  
But this time he doesn't stop at our usual spot and I turn my head to him as we pass it.

"We will not going to the fields?" I ask him after a while.

"Not today. I wanna go with you down the hill." he looks for a moment at me as if to see if I likes it. After I smile at him, he relaxes again and we ride in silece again.  
I know where he will bring me. The river with the high limestone banks.  
Since my childhood, I am in love with this place and what lie hidden there. We approach the edge of the bluff and Jasper stops Baby Blue for a moment so that we can enjoy the sight.  
The view is wonderful from this point at the cliffs. I can see the river at the bottom, hidden from the trees. The oaks cover the whole hidden place I love so much. And on the left side where the small footpath emerge from the trees, are many blackberry bushes.

Jasper stears Baby Blue to the path that I know so well and the horse trots lazily down the way.  
Little by little, the oaks parts as Baby Blue walks along the path until it reveals the beautiful waterfall with the deep pool around it. Huge boulders are grazing the bottom of the waterfall. Rocks rimming the waterflow and let it cascade down a smooth gray limestone before joining the mainstream again. The oaks around the pool are hiding this place so perfectly and it looks like a small forest.  
It is really a treasure for a sunny day.  
This thought brings me suddenly back to one special day a few months ago. And a blush began to cover my cheeks.

~o~

_Mother has promised father in the morning to bake her wonderful blackberry cake which she has learned from his mother. So after I have finished my chores this morning, mother send me out to go blackberrying.  
The sun burns down heavy today as I walk down the small path to the blackberry bushes. There are hundred of them and I easily fill the basket. I think it is the fresh water close by that let them grow in here.  
While I am occupied with plucking the berries, my thoughts wandering once again to Jasper. He must be on the fields at the moment or he is in town. I smile softly.  
My basket is almost full as I come out of my musing.  
I am just in the middle of grabbing it as I hear a loud happy scream and moments later splashing water. I wonder who is at the waterfall. The curiosity has gotten the better part of me as I finally have given up on picking the berries. Loosing interest in it, I abandon the basket and walk down the path through the bushes until I can see a glimpse of the waterfall. But I still stay hidden behind the bushes and a few trees. While looking around the place, I search for the source but cannot see one.  
_

_Have I imagine it?  
_

_I have just made the desicion that it must have been my imagination at all that has tricked me and wanted to turn around as I can see someone.  
A man emerges from the deep pool to the surface. And as I look closer and see the familiar face, I think my heart stops its beating. _

_Jasper._

_I know I should not be here and looking so freely at him but I cannot bring myself to walk away. Frozen to the ground, I watch in fascination as he swims through the cold water. It looks so refreshing and I wish for a moment I can do what Jasper does before I quietly __scold myself for that thought. I am well aware of his nakedness. But the water covers him enough to not let me see anything. I sigh. Just seeing Jasper swim around, refreshing himself and the imagination of his naked body, takes all to make me dizzy.  
Suddenly he has disappeared again under the water, diving towards the waterfall in long strokes. My eyes follow him and I wonder how long he can do this. As Jasper reaches the waterfall, he emerges once more from under the water, splashing water everywhere with his hair. I thought he would continue to swim but this time Jasper isn't swimming back. Climping up now in the water and over the huge boulders which __made a circle around the waterfall__, he steps _into the lower water _that only reaches his calves __where I can see him now in all his glory.  
Everything that is Jasper.  
I gasp and my right hand reach over my chest where I can feel my beating heart running wildly.  
Never in my whole life have I seen a naked man. And I am shocked and fascinated by seeing him like that. My shameful glances continue and I can feel my blush that covers my cheeks, deepen. My eyes wanders over his sun-tunned body which glistening in small water perls, over his square shoulders and over his well defined muscles there. I cannot help but liking what I see. Traveling down his spine to his narrow waist and finally over his firm buttocks. I bite my lip as the butterflies began to overwhelm me so strongly.  
_

_Jasper is beautiful. So manly. So perfect.  
_

_That is my only thought while openly staring at him. Jasper steps forward until he stands under the cascading fresh water, still with his back to me but as he slowly turns around, I jerk up and can finally move. I quickly turn around and disappear unseen from him back to the blackberry bushes.  
"I think I have enough berries for a cake today" I mused absently and grab the abandoned basket with trembling hands without looking back at the path. My heart hammers wildly in my chest and the heat on my skin now isn't the result of the sun anymore. A small smile is gracing my lips the whole way back. And I only hope my red cheeks are gone by the time I come home.  
_

~o~

Jasper pulls the reins and Baby Blue stops a few feet from the rocky shore. He drops to the ground as gracefull and as casually as a human being can do. I know that no man will ever be able to compare with him. _How badly I wish Jasper could be mine._  
Helping me down, Jasper intertwines our fingers as soon as my feet touch the ground. Sadly this time my hands are covered in my gloves. He pulls me to the great oak where I can see some blankets.

"How thoughtful of you." I smile brightly at the gesture and see him blush slightly.

"Yeah, I thought it would be nice not sitting on the cold boulders and since the grass is still a little wet around here..." he mumbled unsure.

"It is wonderful. Thank you Jasper." I say and sit down on the soft blankets, the bright sun hidden from the bright canopy of leaves.

"Sit with me?" I pad the blanket beside me for Jasper to join me.

He smiles shyly while tieing Baby Blue to a tree at the wateredge before he comes over. Again without saying a word, Jasper grabs my hand in his and for a moment we just watch the scenery. The rushing sound of the cascading water calming me even more.

"Your cheek looks normal again today." I say and look at him.

"I told you last night that I was fine Isabella." he smiles at me softly. Jaspers intense eyes make me blush and I avert my eyes back to the water. I can feel his thumb brush over my covered hand and I wish them off to feel his fingertips on my skin.

"Why were you so angry? Will you tell me the story of it?" I ask not sure if I shall ask him or not.

"Isabella," he tilts my chin so that we are looking again at each other. "You can ask me anything you want. Please don't be shy to do so. You know me, I will never judge you for being so openly." he reassures me and I smile.

Jasper let go of my chin and turns back to the water while his left hand began to pull on the grass beside the blanket.

"There are a few reasons why I was upset. But first I want to apologize to you. Because of the events last night, you haven't enjoyed the dance as I hoped you would." he says and looked at me in the end.

"Don't apologize Jasper. Please don't. I did enjoy myself yesterday. Dancing with you was amazing." I see him smile and I squeeze his hand.  
"Until Mary Brown approached you. I am really sorry about that. That she would say something like that and claim that my parents would approve, is just absurd. Mary Brown and I have not spoken in years and even if so, I would never marry her. Mother knows that..." Jasper stops shortly by looking back over the water before he continues.

"...that I already have found the woman who is worthy every obstacle." he smiles softly at that.

"Oh." is all I can say to this as I feel my chest tighten painfully to the brink that tears fill my eyes. I try to blink them away rapidly while Jasper still looks over the water. No one say a word after that.  
I know that I am not good enough for him. I have always known that. He comes from a rich family that is well-respected, he is well educated and have a bright future ahead. And over all of them, Jasper is such a handsome man, in his heart as well as from his looks. I shall have been prepared to this moment I guess, but reality and imagination aren't quite the same and I have never expect it to hurt so bad to hear him speak about the woman whom his love belongs. I never can reach this standard. Not in this life. And not in another one. I am not someone from the upper class. It isn't good for Jasper to be seeing with a simple woman.

Somehow I have imagine a bond or something between us, since Jasper has spend so much time with me. _Silly me_. I have dreamt for so long, wished for so long that this man could be mine. How foolish of me. Jasper sees me as his little sister, nothing more. That's why he is so concern about Mr. Thomas. Jasper wants to make sure that I marry not the next best man around.

I can picture them together. Jasper and his bride, walking around town, happily in love with each other, her right hand graces the golden wedding band. I can imagine her, beautiful and feminine with a great education. Like every man wants there bride. Maybe she can sing, play the piano or even the guitar. Maybe she has already seen much of the country or even has learnt French. The perfect bride.

But does Jasper likes such a woman. What I describe sounds more like Mary Brown and he just said that he never can marry her.

Jasper still holds my hand in his. But now it feels wrong. He shall not do such a thing with me if somewhere is the woman he loves. So I widraw my hand and Jasper turns to me.  
"Isabella..." he began but I stop him.

"We cannot do such a thing. It is bad manners to do that." I say as normal as possible before standing up. I need to take a walk. Jasper quickly stands as well and follows me.  
I feel his hands around my upper arms, stopping me and turning me around.

"Isabella wha-" he stops midsentence as I cannot hold back the single tear anymore. Jasper looks horrified.

"Sweetheart, why are you crying? What have I..." he whispers and wipes away my tear. As if answering his own question, realisation crosses his face.

Oh no. Jasper knows that I feel more for him. I have to go. I try effortless to make some space between us but Jaspers hands don't let go of me.

"Please..." it is only a faint plea from my lips as I struggle against him. And he let me go finally.

"I am so sorry..." he began but I don't listen. It was too much. He was too much.  
Jasper feels sorry that I have falling in love with him. Maybe he is ashamed or worse, feel pity for me.  
The words from Mary Brown echoes in my head like a mantra again.  
_Ugly dug...ugly dug...ugly dug..._

I see him moving his lips but I cannot hear a single word, only my heartbeat which drums in my ears. I feel the lump in my throat and know that I have to go. I need to go. So I spun around and try my hardest not to stumple as I run away from Jasper.  
My left hand holds my skirt tightly in a fist as I rush through the trees along the small path while my other hand clamps tightly over my mout, trying to hold in my sobs. I feel so embarassed at the moment. Embarassed and humilated. Not only that Jasper knows now how I feel, but that I have lost myself so badly in front of him. This time completly. I held my skirt a little higher now with both hands as I reach the top of the hill, another tear fall from my cheek and I cannot hold back the sob that breaks through my lips.

I am completly lost to my surroundings as I run over the edge and through the first part of the fields of white cotton when suddenly a warm hand grabs my arm and pulls me back. I fall back into a hard chest and immediately know it is Jasper. He wraps his arms around me from behind in a strong grip but I try to struggle out of them until I hear his voice on my ear.

"Isabella, do not run from me, please." he pleads and buries his face into my hair.

"Let me go. Jasper please. Just let me go." But my plea is just a whisper to myself as I hold onto him painfully.

"I am so sorry," as it falls from his lips, my heart shatters into thousand tiny pieces. I do not want to hear more. _Please no more_. I beg silently as another tear rolls down my cheek.

"that you think that you are not good enough for me." he whispers into my ear and I froze and stop my struggling immediately.

_What has he just said?_

Jasper uses my distraction and turns me around so that he can look at me.  
His hands holding my face softly while his thumbs stroke lovingly over my wet cheeks.

"W-W-What..." I stutter while I can only stare at him.

"Isabella, can you not see it? All the time we have spent together, think about it." he says tenderly.

I think I lost my voice because as I open my mouth, not a single word wants to come out. I only stare helplessly at Jasper, tears shimmers still in my eyes.

"I-I do not underst-stand." I squeak finally and Jasper gives me such a warm smile that melt my heart.

"Isabella, I know you are in love with me." His eyes are intense while he holds my gaze. I can feel his right hand moves down my cheek along my neck as his fingers brushes my heated skin until he reaches my shoulder.

"I–" I stammers but Jaspers fingers continues to move down my arm until he reaches my hand. Carefully, as if my hand is made out of thin paper, he pulls of my glove before he holds my hand up and turns to reveal my palm. And ever so slowly, he bent down to press a kiss in the middle of it.  
Shock and excitment are running through me. My heartbeat incrase and it feels like forever as Jaspers lips linger on my skin.

"I know." he whispers with closed eyes as he kisses my palm once more before he moves to my fingertips and gingerly kisses each of them as well.  
"Jasper I–" Standing there in the middle of the field, my voice is gone. I can feel the hot summer breeze swirling around us. Without stopping, Jaspers lips left my fingertips and ghosts up to my wrist, sending a jolt of pure bliss through me. I gasps at that and my other hand crumples the fabric of my dress in an attempt to not reach out for him.  
To feel his lips brush so softly over my skin on my wrist in such a innocent way, is nothing I ever have felt before. I have experienced handkisses of course, it is a gesture of politeness and respect towards us women. But to feel this devotion and tender in Jaspers touch now, is so different.  
Near-instantly I close my eyes and cannot help myself than to enjoy the sensation he awakes in me at this simple gesture.  
As soon as Jaspers lips leave my wrist, I open my eyes as well and see the small smile on his lips.

_Why? Why did he do this?_

Jasper steps closer and his hand reaches now around my neck while the other still holds my hand.

"I love you Isabella. I love you with all my heart. I never have loved another woman."

"Why...?" I whisper and Jasper smiles at me.

"If you could see yourself with my eyes, I wouldn´t need any explanation darlin. But believe me when I tell you that you Isabella, are the most amazing woman I have ever met. You are so natural and lovely and beyond any beauty. You capture everyone with your presence without knowing it. Isabella you are everything I have ever dreamt of since I was a little boy." he says in wonder and awe and I feel dizzy from his words as they warm my heart.

I look at the man in front of me and I cannot hold the tears. This time happy ones.  
"Oh darlin, don't cry." Jasper tries to sooth me but I shook my head no.

"Y-You love me. Y-You really love me. It feels like in my dream. Is this a dream Jasper? If so I do not want to wake up ever." I smile through my tears and suddenly I feel his lips brushing over my left cheek, kissing away my tears before he does it on my right cheek as well.

"Don't cry anymore darlin. You have me, now and forever." he smiles and embrace me. His arms feel so good around me and I lay my head on his chest, inhaling his scent.  
He smelt like tobacco, sweet soap, musk and simple like Jasper. We don't move for a long time. Jasper holds me tightly against him and has buried his face in my hair.

As we let go of each other, Jasper walks with me back to Baby Blue. The time has gone so fast and we have to go back now. I sigh and Jasper chuckles.  
This time as we sit on Baby Blue, it feels different. I tilt my head a little back to look at him and in the same time Jasper looks down at me. His deep brown eyes so intense.  
While Baby Blue trots along the way, Jasper and I never take our eyes from each other. My breathing get quicker all of a sudden and my whole body seems to hum. Jasper licks his lips and my heart wants to break through my chest.

"Isabella, may I kiss you?" Jasper asks softly and I nod, biting my lip nervously.  
I feel his finger brush over my lips softly before holding my chin in between his thumb and fingers. Time stands still while my heartbeat increase the closer his face come. Jaspers scent overwhelms me completly and the heat of his touch burns like the sweetest fire.

"Jasper..." I whimmer before he softly captures my lips in a sweet kiss full of promises. _Oh..._  
His lips are so soft and urgent on mine, trying to express all that he feels for me. I never have felt so much pleasure. Through my closed eyes I can feel so much more. His hand on my stomach, holding me against him as we ride through the cotton fields, his humming heartbeat that flutters in his chest against my back, the warm heat that suddenly awake in my abdomen. _It is pure bliss_. This moment will last forever in my heart, even when I am death and turned to dust, will my soul remember this moment as Jasper kissed me for the first time in my life. Our lips move together so sweetly and in such a kind and soft way that I sigh into the kiss. At that sound I feel a smile grace his lips, then he pulls slowly away from me. But not before he peppers a few gentle small kiss to my lips. Jasper smiles genuinely, making his already beautiful hazel eyes, even more beautiful as I gaze into them and he utteres only one word to me that send a warm shudder all over my body.

'_mine_'

* * *

My father has been sitting on the porch for quite a while and cleaning his old pipe with me sitting beside him on the old wooden bench. The sun is just sinking down as the warm lavender and orange glowing at the sky spread over the west horizon. The sky gets darker as it stretches from one end to the other and inking it into darker shades of black. A few stars have already appeared and twinkle beautiful above us. But I quickly give my father my full attention as he breaks the silence that has covered us for a while.

"So Isabella," he still looks down at his pipe between his hands, rubbing the cloth over it to polish it some more. "it seems to me you are quite taken by Mr. Whitlocks son Jasper. Am I right?" my father says and turns his head at the end of his speech finally to me with a knowing look in his eyes.

"Yes father." I answer lowly. At that he gives me a soft smile and nod before turning back to his pipe. He seems content and grabs the metalbox which lay beside him that holds the tobacco inside. I always have loved watching my father smoke. He mostly does it in the evening, sitting outside of our house while watching the sunset with mother.  
Father fills it carefully before putting the pipe in his mouth and taking a few puffs of the unlit tobacco. He says that he has to taste the tobaccos flavour and assure not to apply too much suction to get air to pass through it. Father takes his matches out of his pocket and lights up the tobacco. For a while he puffs before father is content with his pipe and began to smoke. The sweet flavour of cherry pipe tobacco pervade the air and lingers around us filling my mind with scented memories that are indelibly etched into my heart. _Memories of my father._

"I am sure you are." he mumbles under his breath and I am not sure if it is for me to hear. He puffs on his pipe now and then but after a moment, father speaks again.

"I see more than you both may believe. I am very observant Isabella, more observant than your mother. That is maybe the main reason why I have allowed Mr. Whitlocks son to spend time with you. I know he is a good man and he can make you happy. He will be good husband for you my child. I can see it." father smiles more to himself and I am shocked to hear something like that from him.  
Father has always been against the idea of me finding a husband. In his eyes I am still his little girl.

"I know that you have feelings for Jasper Whitlock. You can hide it good but not good enough from me. You have a good insight into human nature. That is something we both share. You have made a good choice by Jasper. He will not fail you. After all, he has been affected by you for so long as well. But probably you never realized that." he looks back to me and I shook my head no.

"No father, I have not realized that at all. I never have thought about that." I say softly and look down at my hands that lay in my lap.

"Why not? You two have been so close as children and over the last months as well." my father asks.  
For a moment I don't want answer that question but I know I have to.

"Because I am not like him. His family is so well educated, rich and respected from everyone. They live in influential circles father. We are poor hard workers without such a background. I am not that good for him even if he has feelings for me." I sigh heavily.

"Little bug," my father calls me with the nickname when he feels that it is needed as he grabs one of my hands. "I am well aware that we are not rich people. We don't have to be. Our family is happy in every way possible without that much money. We have a little land, a good house on it which I have built with my own hands, our family has everything that is needed. It should not matters what education you have. Love looks not with the eyes, but with the heart. It is pure and has no bondaries. If you love him than embrace this feeling with open arms. We have always teach you that. And you have a good heart on the right place. Both, your mother and I want you to be happy. We want you to find the love that we share for each others. And I know Jasper is this man. I see him looking at you the same way I look at your mother. Don't be afraid Isabella. He can be your future if you not turn away." he smiles and at that moment the door opens and mother comes out with a knowing smile as well.

She sits beside him and father put his arms around her so that she can lean against him.  
"Isabella, as your father let Jasper court you," my mother began but I interupt her shocked at the words.

"Court? But-But he never has asked me." I stammer helplessly.

"Court is not the right word as it is only just now allow to do so with you, but Jasper wanted to spend time with you. And like your father told you before, he is very observant." mother speaks softly.

"But why have you said all the things about Mr. Thomas and this other man from Boston?" I ask my mother and my parents exchange a short knowing glance at each other.

"Just let me say that my mother does this trick to me too. Or better to your father." mother smiles at my father and he sighes heavily.

"I thought your mother would marry another man because your grandmother was so into arrange everything. She was even worse than your mother." my father groans heavily at a memory.

"But why? I do not understand it."

"To make the men realize that there are other candidates for the women. But more importantly to let the family of the woman see that the wooher means it well." my mother says before leaning back into my fathers arms.

I sit back as well and watch the last rays of sun fade as the stars replace the light at the firmament. My mind full of a hopeful future with Jasper.

* * *

A/N: First part of the past. Next one is Jaspers. This story is devided into three sections. Past; Present; Future.  
I hope you enjoy it.  
While I began to write the story, I had always this two question in mind:

_- What was the real reason Jasper joined the army at such a young age?_ _Was it really because he wanted to fight or maybe because of a more personal thing that has happened before in his human life?_

_- And is the painful look he wears as a vampire really because of his bloodlust or maybe from something else, that even he doesn't know or remember anymore?_

Leave a review. That would be really nice.

PS: I tried to write without many grammatical errors. Since it is not my mother language. I hope it is not too bad.


End file.
